I Hate You Kenny--by Brian

Maybe the Eagles are learning.  The “dream team” free agent signings of Nnamdi Asomugha, Vince Young, Ronnie Brown, and Steve Smith didn’t amount to much in the win column.  Newly signed Giant Cullen Jenkins admitted this week that the frenzy around the 2011 free agent signings made it hard on the team.  Heh, Heh...I said hard on.  Anyway, this year’s Eagles’ free agent class--while short on name power--provides much needed depth at reasonable prices.  Even the Giants fans are getting a little worried that the Eagles might be figuring out the right recipe for success.  Thank god they don’t have a quarterback.  But even if they know the secret, let’s just promise to not let Jerry Jones and Daniel Snyder in on it.

I’ve never really gotten too worked up about the free agent signing period.  For most of my adult life Giants’ free agent signings were generally castoffs that were on their last legs by the time they arrived in New York.  For every Kareem McKenzie or Plaxico Burress signing, the Giants shot themselves in the foot (thigh?) with aged superstars like Dorsey Levens, Carlos Emmons, Brian Mitchell, and LaVar Arrington.  Those first three names just made me a little bit more concerned about the Jenkins signing.  Maybe we should keep the Eagles stink out of the Giants locker room.    

It has also been pretty rare that the Giants have lost players in free agency that have come back to bite them in the ass.  You’ll be hard pressed to find a Giants fan clamoring for the days when players like Gibril Wilson or Steve Smith or Kevin Boss donned Giants blue.  Sure, the loss of Barry Cofield a few years back stings now that the artist formerly known as Chris Canty has moved on.  And I personally wasn’t thrilled to see The Black Unicorn move on to greener pastures (where is it exactly that a unicorn frolics?) but ever since Shockey left, the Giants have done just fine with a “next man up” mentality to the tight end position.  Maybe Osi ends up on a team that can put him to good use as a situational pass rusher but I for one won’t miss seeing backs like Alfred Morris or Shady McCoy run right around his end.    

As for Kenny Phillips, I read somewhere that he is going to learn to hate the Giants.  Well then, with deference to Eric Cartman, I hate you Kenny.  I wish you about as much luck in Philadelphia as your friend Steve Smith had.  You were a real good Giant who never lived up to full potential because of injury.  We’ll always have Super Bowl 46.  I’m sure the Eagles’ doctors were well aware of the degenerative condition that is eating away at your knee.  I can’t imagine that a gaping hole in your knee is the reason why 30 other teams failed to offer you any more than the veteran minimum.

The Giants haven’t made much of a splash in this year’s free agent signing period.  Jerry Reese learned a long time ago to let teams let Washington and Dallas win in March.  The players have come cheap and have provided needed depth.  I personally was surprised by the Dan Connor signing.  I would have thought that after he won the lottery in the last season of Roseanne, he would have hung 'em up by now.  And if the Giants really wanted a slow, plodding two-down linebacker who will be a substitute math teacher by the start of the 2014 season, why not just keep Chase Blackburn?  I would say that at least Blackburn knows Perry Fewell’s system but that would require Fewell to have a system. 

I’m moderately enthused by the Brandon Myers signing.  Sure he can’t block but he did catch 79 balls last year.  And he is a dead ringer for Carson Palmer so he has that going for him which is nice.  Speaking of Palmer, I can only imagine how giddy Louis Murphy was to find out that he will now be receiving the ball from Eli Manning rather than from JaMarcus Russell or Bruce Gradkowski or Palmer’s corpse or more recently from Cam Newton.  I’m indifferent on this signing.  Murphy’s numbers have generally rivaled those of Domenick Hixon and he is likely to be behind Nicks, Cruz, and Randel on the depth chart. 

I’ll admit that this hasn’t been my favorite offseason.  It is never fun to see champions like Ahmad Bradshaw or Michael Boley or (I suspect) Osi Umenyiora leave the Giants family.  But I understand.  There’s a saying on Giants blogs, “In Reese We Trust.”  He deserves it.  Two Super Bowls in five years.  I’ll keep telling myself that.